I am halfway into my detox/cleanse so please forgive me if this post doesn't make sense (I just typed the word make...three times. oy.), I'm feeling a little off. First we'll talk shopping and then I'll give you the low down on some of the actual meals.
First, if you do this by yourself it is stinking expensive. Seriously, find someone to
Like these gems:
J - What do you think of the breakfast?
J - Yeah, I probably liked the quinoa in Peru because it is in the chicken gravy.
C - Ya think? Oh, If I have to pee one more time...
Fun times indeed.
So the shopping. Here's my receipt...
I blacked out the bottom because I bought a few extra bits and pieces for the other people who live in my house who get to eat real food for the next two days (not that I'm bitter or anything). It really wasn't too bad but if I had had to buy it all myself it would have stung a little. There were some things that I couldn't find at my local store so I just skipped them. I hope they weren't important. We had fun playing "find the random healthy stuff" at the store though. Asking questions like, "Fennel Bulb? Is that in produce or gardening?" Saying the word "Quinoa (KEN - WAH) over and over because I felt fancy. Try it. You'll like it. The word, not the stuff. The highlight was me yelling across the milk aisle at my friend, "How many pints in a liter?" and having some random shopping lady call out the answer as a "drive-by". You rock shopping lady. That incident lead to a conversation about a game show that is held in a Walmart. Kind of like the taxi one.
And, here is what I get to eat. I forgot to photograph the bag of apples and it's only one banana that gets consumed in the cleanse. Joy.
The results thus far.
The dinner was not the worst thing ever. I used usual mushrooms since my little ole Walmart didn't have any Shitake ones (surprise, surprise). I hope it still works without the fancy 'shrooms... But the dinner, yeah, not bad, not fabulous but I didn't expect any of the "meals" (what a joke!) to taste like KFC so I was cool with the veggie broth. Oh and I ate the veggies...not sure if I was supposed to or not...
The detox juice is a.w.e.s.o.m.e. Seriously, I will continue to drink this. Nom. Nom. Nom
The next morning: KEN-WAH (said in a Karate chop voice it's more like KEN-WAAAAAH - the husband says I am not funny. Lack of real food has me finding myself particularly hysterical...)
Gag. Kids, Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try this at home. All those blogger reviews I read that said it was soooo tasty...LIARS. All of them. First, it looks like worms. Teny little worms. Yup, I am not kidding you. To be fair, if you mixed it with the right stuff it might actually be tasty (just close yo' eyes - WORMS people!) but mixed with prunes, almond milk, flaxseed oil, ginger and nutmeg it is just plain N-A-S-T-Y! Now, the flaxseed oil did make it nastier so if you're going to try it, nix the stuff...unless you like eating dirt, and not the good kind. I forgot to take a picture so overcome by it's nastiness I was so when I make it tomorrow (yes, I'm going to attempt a few bites tomorrow) I will take one. I promise you, WORMS!
Alright kids, that's all for now. I'll post more tomorrow but I want to end by saying that the husband does not love me. Or he has a death wish. He is making toast. The whole house smells like toast. I was doing fine up til now. Now I want toast.